


Resistance is Futile

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Hopeful Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 00:52:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape stays safe from Voldemort by keeping a distance from everyone, but even he can't go on like that forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resistance is Futile

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Livejournal in 2005.

Severus Snape lay hunched against the cold stone wall, his arms tightly holding his legs close to his body, desperately willing his limbs to stop their Crucio aftershocks. He no longer knew how long he’d been there, only dimly aware of the progress of the moon across the floor; he’d counted at first but then he’d fallen unconscious and didn’t know how many hours had escaped him. His breathing, when it came, was slow, and sometimes he realised that he wasn’t breathing at all, and had to force his lungs to remember how to work. His neck ached from staying in one position for so long, his sweat drenched hair matted against his face. His eyes were heavy and all he wanted to do was sleep, the one gift he could never allow himself. His mind was still intact he told himself again and again, he hadn’t betrayed the Order, not yet.

He tried to remember what had happened, how the Dark Lord had captured him – he wondered whether the Order was looking for him and felt an unfamiliar and heart-rending ache as he thought of Dumbledore and felt sure that he, at least, would be looking for him. And then it all came flooding back and he had to stifle the sobs as he recalled the triumph in Wormtail’s voice as he reported back to his Master; “all has gone to plan, my Lord, they believe that the traitor has rejoined our side.” And that was that…no one was looking for him, no one cared, and he was going to die as he had lived, alone.

=======

“He’s in here.”

“Oh my God…”

“We need to move him…”

“Wait, let me check him over first…”

“We haven’t got time Remus, just Floo him back to Hogwarts.”

“But…”

“Now!”

“Severus, Severus it’s Remus. I’m just going to…damn it, Kingsley, help me carry him…”

The voices all began to merge into one as Severus allowed himself to sink back into unconsciousness, a light spark of hope settling in his stomach.

=======

When he finally woke he was in a strange bed, one which allowed the light through the window to fall upon his freshly washed hair and across his face, momentarily blinding him. He blinked once, then twice, and finally managed to manoeuvre himself away from the light and across to the other side of the king-size bed. He wasn’t in the infirmary he realised as he looked about.

“Ah, Severus, you’re awake at last.” _Dumbledore._

Snape tried to sit up but was forced back down by a racking cough that caught him by surprise.

“Now, now my dear boy, don’t exert yourself.”

Dumbledore was followed into the room by Lupin, who was carrying a bowl of soup in his hand. Against his wishes Snape felt his stomach grumble.

“Where am I?” he croaked.

“You are in my rooms, Severus,” Dumbledore replied. “No more questions until you have had something to eat…”

“I thought you were looking for me,” Severus answered, trying to look the other man in the eye, “but you weren’t…were you? After everything…” Snape let out a sob and was ashamed to feel the tears welling in his eyes.

“You must believe me, Severus, the evidence was…”

“You were supposed to believe in me!” Snape snapped, his ribs creaking in protest as he forced himself to sit up, belatedly realising that he was naked under the covers. His magic, left to fend for itself for so long, skittered about the room and knocked a portrait to the floor. Lupin took a step backwards and for a moment Snape thought it was his natural timidity, until he felt the slight push of another’s mind against his own and forced himself back into his head, and saw…

_Lupin's tongue licking it’s way down his bare chest, sucking at each nipple as he passed, his surprisingly gentle hands pushing his hips on to the bed._

_“Want you,” Lupin growled, “need you.”_

_Snape had lain back, emotion warring within him. It felt so good and yet Lupin was his enemy. His hatred was the only thing keeping him alive, keeping him free of the Dark Lord…he couldn’t allow himself to feel…not now…_

_But then Lupin’s warm mouth had settled its way around Snape’s aching cock and all thoughts of resistance shattered._

“We’ll talk once you’ve eaten,” Dumbledore replied, nodding at Lupin and disappearing out of the door. Snape stared balefully after him, uncomfortably aware of Lupin’s eyes upon him, the fact that he felt, and must have looked, like a dog who’s master had left him alone for the day. Irritated beyond belief he pulled the bedclothes around him, covering as much of his body as he could, and glared at the soup in Lupin’s hand.

“Don’t even think about feeding that to me,” he snapped.

“By all means, do it yourself.” Lupin replied, more harshly than Snape could remember him speaking, and slammed the bowl onto the table beside the bed, soup splashing about the table and onto the floor. Startled, Snape watched him as he stomped into the bathroom, returning seconds later with a cloth.

“I…I thought it was my fault…that you went back to Him. I knew you didn’t really want…”

_Lupin’s mouth seeking out his own in the dark, his tongue sliding inside, his fingers mirroring the action, pressing themselves into his opening. He tried to move away, but who knew that Lupin was so good at this? It had been so long since anyone had wanted to touch him. He hated himself for this need – where had that come from? – but despite himself he wanted Lupin, wanted him to take control. Would it really be so bad if he let go, just this once?_

“You didn’t force me to do anything,” Snape grated, his teeth close together, the confession a painful reminder of thoughts he’d long struggled to keep buried.

Lupin eyed him warily. “But...”

“And in case you hadn’t noticed, I did not rejoin that bastard, I was kidnapped.”

“I...I know. When I woke up and you were gone…”

“I went…” Snape swallowed hard and nearly choked and glared maliciously at Lupin when he helped him take a soothing sip of ice cold water. “I went to get some breakfast.” He sighed. “For us both,” he added quietly.

“Oh.”

“You came to me. I didn’t ask you to...”

“I know that,” Lupin replied, gently setting himself down on the bed. “But I thought, I thought we’d finally gotten over…” he shrugged. Even now he couldn’t put a name to it.

_Endless chess games, debates over Dark Arts, an inconsequential, sarcastic remark causing laughter to cascade out of Lupin’s mouth, the suddenly burning desire to hear Lupin’s ragged panting, the uncomfortable recognition that he couldn’t shut everyone out, that he no longer wanted to. The realisation that if he were to die, there would be someone to mourn him. The despair at finding that this brought him no comfort._

“We did,” Snape acknowledge. “It was a mistake. I should never have…” But whatever excuses Snape was going to make were crushed by Lupin’s mouth upon his own, biting and sucking and tasting. He tried to move, to push him away, but his arms were tangled in the sheets and his chest wheezed as Lupin lowered him down on to the bed, not breaking the kiss for a moment.

After what seemed like an age Snape finally acquiesced and allowed himself to kiss the werewolf back, let the dam break. And despite his wishes he could feel himself getting hard, could feel Lupin’s erection pushing into his thigh, knew that this was where he was meant to be, crushed under the other man, giving him everything.

Panting, the pair broke apart, though Lupin only moved to rest his head against Snape’s bruised ribs smiling to himself as Snape began to tentatively stroke his hair. Though still aching they both seemed to realise that anymore exertion would set Snape even further back and the need, the want, was more intoxicating than any form of completion would be.

“I missed you,” Lupin said in an impossibly small voice. Snape knew he was looking for some sort of equal declaration, but he couldn’t lie.

“I didn’t miss you.” Lupin stiffened under his touch. “I didn’t miss anyone. I blocked everything and everyone out. I realised…I realised if I didn’t think of you, then He would know I was avoiding something, so I had to block everyone out, had to drown out every emotion, every thought, and all I thought of was getting out, which only made him laugh, but by the end, I couldn’t even remember who was supposed to get me, who I was supposed to be…It isn’t really the Crucio that destroys your mind, it’s the knowing that your mind is being destroyed….I can’t imagine what it was like for Alice and Frank.”

Lupin had silently listened to him, aware how much effort it took, not only physically but emotionally. Lupin reached up and took Snape’s hand, which was still absently tangled in his hair, and held it close to his chest, kissing each finger before grasping it tightly.

_“Remus? Why would I possibly want to call you…” His words were drowned out by hands pulling at his cloak and before he knew it he was pressed up against the door of his office, an eager werewolf grinding against him, sending shivers down his spine._

“What are you…doing…oh, god…you have to…st…st…don’t stop,” he panted, lights flashing before his eyes.

“Damn it, Severus, I couldn’t wait any longer...you damn tease,” Lupin positively purred against his neck, licking then biting one spot, over and over, until Snape felt that almost forgotten tension build, felt Lupin’s hands impossibly everywhere, and felt himself breaking into a thousand pieces. Finally, when he regained the use of his legs, he couldn’t help thinking that he’d come back fundamentally different.

Snape had looked at Lupin, who had suddenly become shy, felt a sneer dancing across his face and changed it, with much effort, into a tentative, and incredibly brief, smile.

He had been teasing Lupin, provoking him, wondering how far he could push the other man, enjoying the way his fingers dancing across Lupin’s spine made the other man melt, revelling in the way his voice slithered across the other man’s body. He’d wanted this, and not wanted it, until the not knowing was driving him mad. He could walk away, but cowardice was a Gryffindor sport, not his own, and he knew he would finish what he had started.

“Bed,” he’d growled, pulling a startled Lupin along with him.

Lupin got up with a slight creak of his joints and tested the soup, which had by now gone cold.

“I’ll get you another one, be right back.” He slipped off the bed and came back with a freshly heated bowl and a spoon which he insisted on using to feed Snape. Snape allowed two mouthfuls before quietly taking the spoon from Lupin’s fingers and proceeding to feed himself. Lupin looked relieved and Snape realised that he had been manipulated. This time he did growl, which only made Lupin smile all the more, the tension around his eyes lessening somewhat. When Snape was finished he did feel better, and the headache at the back of his head had ceased to bother him so much. He allowed Lupin to get him settled back in to bed, too tired to protest further, or even to note that Dumbledore had yet to return for their talk. Lupin gently soothed the other man’s hair away from his face and spent blissful minutes massaging the tension from his scalp, before settling down next to him, and wrapping an arm, carefully, around the other man’s waist, anxious not to jar his injuries too much.

Snape tensed under Lupin’s careful ministrations, then gave in. After all, he always gave in to a Gryffindor, didn’t he?


End file.
